Faith and Misery
by Faith-chan
Summary: Shameless whumpage, with a little plot mixed in to keep it all stuck together. Rated for violence and nudity, but nothin kinky!, and prolly some language too. No Ship but friendship. COMPLETE!
1. Chapter 1

AN: Oh dear sweet gods help me, I've started another multi-chapter fic! This one will (thankfully!) not be nearly as long as my poor Slayers fic, and so should be completed in a few weeks, so long as my muse doesn't run away!

Really, this fic is all about shameless whumpage, so I am only putting in as much plot as I deem necessary so that it doesn't totally suck. Also, I am a dreaded self-insertion Author, but I promise, no Mary-Sueness. (FYI, the title of the fic has nothing to do with my pen name!)

Disclaimer: I have no ownership over anything Stargate: Atlantis. Don't sue me, all I've got is some really old reeces pieces!

**Faith and Misery**

Chapter 1

"This is getting ridiculous," Lt. Colonel John Sheppard sighed. He surveyed a semi-familiar scene: Dr. Rodney McKay and Dr. Radek Zelenka bickering in the blue glow of laptop light and the cool illumination of alien technology. The only odd thing was the setting; instead of their laboratory on Atlantis, they were in the shadow of an incredibly sheer cliff face in the middle of a dense forest.

Well, truth be told, the setting wasn't the oddest thing. Sheppard was used to McKay drooling over strange devices on alien planets. Even Radek had been off world a few times, now. It was the young woman rifling through Zelenka's bag who held the dubious honor of being the strangest element of the situation.

"Karina, do you mind?" Sheppard said, trying to shoo the twenty-something away from Radek's pack. The blonde blushed, but backed away, still holding something that looked suspiciously like an iPod in her hand. "Do we really need a native guide," Sheppard grumbled, turning to face the rest of his team, "On every damn plan--"

Teyla Emmagan and Ronon Dex smiled knowingly at him. Teyla raised an eyebrow.

"--et. Oh, shut up!" Sheppard groused.

"You sound like Dr. McKay," the Athosian told him with a grin.

"I'm sorry, Colonel," Karina said, still holding the iPod, "But I've never seen these kinds of things before..." Sheppard rolled his eyes, but softened slightly. The last thing he wanted was to be rightly compared to Rodney. Karina had been the only person from her town willing to show them to this spot, and if the increasingly loud bickering between the scientists was any indicator, it seemed this could really be a worthwhile discovery.

"Zelenka, you got anything classified on this thing?" John asked, indicating the pilfered mp3 player. The Czech looked up in surprise.

"What? No. Hey!" the slight man began to protest as Sheppard handed the ear buds to Karina and instructed her to sit down and showed her how to work the device. McKay snapped his fingers in irritated fashion at his colleague.

"Hey, maestro, if you would focus a little more on work, maybe you could make yourself useful!" the Canadian snapped.

"Woah, 'Green Day,' Radek?" Sheppard asked in shock, glancing at the song now playing. Zelenka chose to ignore the Colonel's comment, though his spine stiffened in irritation at Rodney's jab. Radek was not a happy man at the moment. He hated being away from his nice safe lab in Atlantis. He hated people touching his stuff. And he hated when McKay insisted on insulting his intelligence; though, he'd gotten used to that. He found himself wishing that this glowing glass panel wasn't apparently fused into the rock face. Better still, that Dr. Weir would have let Dr. McKay sit here and try to figure this damn thing out by himself, and fail miserably.

"Well if Dr. Weir did not think I would be useful here, she would not have asked me to come," Zelenka snapped. "Apparently, she realizes that you need far more help than you will admit." Rodney cast Zelenka a nasty glance, but immediately turned his attention back to his computer screen. Though he wouldn't admit it, part of him was glad to have the Czech here. The blinking panel had Rodney fairly stumped, and occasionally, Zelenka would say something that would spark McKay's own innate genius. That, and Radek was a damn good scientist, though Rodney would never let it slip that he knew that.

Sheppard shook his head at the scientists. He glanced at Karina, who was now happily bopping in place as she was introduced to punk rock. The look of glee on her face was much more suited to a five year old than someone twenty years older than that.

"Have Dr. McKay and Dr. Zelenka made any progress?" Teyla asked as Sheppard came back over towards her and Ronon, standing at the perimeter of their work area. Sheppard simply shook his head.

"Do we even know what this thing is supposed to do?" Ronon asked. The panel set into the cliff face didn't look that impressive to him. A collection of multi-colored flashing lights, it seemed to fit more with Dr. McKay's description of the box that people on his planet watched for entertainment than a likely source for Wraith-killing technology.

"All we know is pretty much what we knew before," Sheppard replied. "It doesn't seem to be Ancient technology. The Wraith haven't been to this planet in a long time, the people of Karina's town believe that this thing is what keeps them away, and that none of the villagers are willing to come near it."

"Except Karina," Teyla murmured, glancing at the young woman.

"Yea, well, she doesn't seem like the brightest bulb in the box," Sheppard muttered, looking back at the still-bopping blonde.

"She was able to lead us here," Ronon pointed out, and it was a fair observation. There was no marked or well worn path to the spot they were now occupying. Ronon could appreciate the young woman's sense of direction, if not her sense of wonder at all the gadgets that the Atlantis team had with them. A sudden yelp from the scientists drew the attention of the team, and Sheppard and Teyla hurried over to Zelenka and McKay. Ronon stayed at the perimeter, eyes scanning the dark shadows of the forest.

As Ronon glanced back where the rest of the group had gathered around the glassy panel set into the rock face, a sudden bright light blinded him before he could throw his arm up to shield his eyes. When the glare receded, the hulking warrior swore. Where five people had stood, there was now only a pile of instrumentation, weapons, and a still-blaring iPod.

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End Notes: I am being mean! If anyone wants more chapters and lots of good whumpage, I must get reviews! Oh, and if you spy any errors or have any constructive criticism, please let me know.

Also, a cookie for anyone who gets the REALLY weird connection between title and story.


	2. Chapter 2

AN: Woo hoo! Ok, as promised, chapter 2. No good whumpage yet, but a sticky situation... I promise, though, the evil stuff is comin.

Oh, and cookies for Jessica and Vecturist!

Chapter 2

Dr. Rodney McKay groaned as consciousness returned to him. He became aware that his face was pressed into something cold and hard. "Ow," he grumbled as he tried to sit himself up. This turned out to be a difficult task, though, as his hands were bound behind his back. A familiar flutter of panic settled into his chest. "Oh, this is not good," he muttered.

"Very observant, McKay," a voice grumbled from off to McKay's right. Rodney turned and saw Colonel Sheppard stirring awake, propped up against the wall of what McKay could now see was definitely a cell of some sort. Rodney then heard another groan from of to his left. He rolled over to his side and managed to get his knees under himself and sit up.

"Well that's better, anyway," McKay squeaked, his voice up a few octaves from it's usual timbre. He was breathing much more easily now that his lungs weren't being compressed by the awkward position. He could see that the crumpled form to his left was Dr. Zelenka, curled on his side.

The smaller man began to mumble something in Czech, but as he tried to move and found his arms wouldn't respond correctly, he snapped out of his half-wakeful state.

"Wha-what's going on?" Radek sputtered, a quaver in his voice. He quickly fumbled himself into a sitting position. He glanced around, taking stock of the situation, and he felt a distinct tightening in his chest. This was a new situation for the Czech scientist, one he had hoped he would be able to avoid. It did make him feel the tiniest bit better when he looked McKay in the eye and saw there the same panic that he himself was feeling. Not much better, though.

"Where are we?" came an alto voice from across the hall. The men looked towards the wide door of their cell, and through the bars they saw the forms of Teyla and Karina, sitting up as best they could.

"This must be the place of the Guardians," Karina whispered. The young woman's eyes were wide with a mix of fear and disbelief.

"How did we get here?" Teyla asked. She looked around doing a more complete head count. "And where is Ronon?" McKay's mind was spinning, trying to put the pieces together.

"I remember a bright flash," Rodney said, "Not long after I'd started to make some progress in decoding the pattern of lights on the panel-"

"YOU made progress?" Zelenka snapped.

"Fine, WE made progress, what the hell difference does it make right now?" McKay pointed out.

"Maybe it was beaming technology, such as the Daedalus has," Teyla suggested. Rodney nodded.

"My thoughts exactly, as I was about to suggest before I was so rudely interrupted," agreed McKay. "Ronon must have been far enough away from the rest of us that he avoided being taken. I hope," he added, in a much quieter squeak.

"Well then why were we rendered unconscious?" Zelenka asked. "Beaming technology does no such thing."

"ASGARD beaming technology does no such thing," McKay retorted. "Whoever built that panel was not Asgard or Ancient, though clearly at a similar technological level."

"At the moment, it doesn't matter much how we got here," Sheppard said. "I'm more concerned with how we're going to get out." He scooted his knees under him and pivoted so his back was to McKay. "What do you make of these?" the Colonel asked the scientist. McKay looked as closely as he could at Sheppard's restraints without losing his balance. Zelenka also made his way over as best he could to investigate.

"It looks similar to the technology of the panel," the Czech muttered, eyeing the semi-translucent cuffs that bound the Colonel's arms together from wrist to mid-forearm.

"Oh thank you so much for that helpful analysis," Rodney snapped. He REALLY hated being tied up.

"Gentlemen," Sheppard said cooly, drawing their attention to the problem at hand and away from their argument. "Can you get them off of us?" The scientists looked at each other before Rodney shook his head.

"No," he said bitterly, "Not with our hands tied anyway. This isn't some sailor's knot you can just fumble with back to back and hope to untie the other person. In circumstances like this, we'd actually need to see what we're doing." Sheppard shushed McKay suddenly, and the scientist opened his mouth to protest.

"Shut up, McKay!" Sheppard ordered under his breath, turning to look down the hallway.

At that moment, the other four turned their heads to try and look where Sheppard's eyes had been drawn. The unmistakable sounds of footfalls sent a flurry of reactions through the group. Sheppard balanced himself on the balls of his feet, ready to spring. Rodney also balanced himself on the balls of his feet, ready to run like hell. Radek backed himself into a corner and tried to make himself as small as possible. Teyla's stance mirrored Sheppard's, while Karina was simply sitting, her eyes still wide with fear and confusion.

Finally, a group of very large men stopped in front of their cells. Three of the hulking forms was probably over six and a half feet tall. One slightly smaller man, maybe only 6'3, turned and looked at the women then the men in turn. He was slim, but looked strong, and had a head of steel gray hair. He met each person's eyes in turn. Rodney couldn't fully suppress a shiver when the man's cold gray eyes locked with his. Without a word, he turned and opened the men's cell with a wave of his hand, and the men entered silently. Two of the hulks pointed what could only be weapons at Sheppard and McKay, while the smaller man and the last big man strode over to Zelenka. As they each grabbed him under an arm, the scientist let out a yelp.

"Colonel!" he cried, panic thickening his accent. Sheppard tried to rush forward, but felt an explosion of pain in his temple as he got pistol whipped for his trouble. Rodney had started to raise to his feet, but a stony glare and a deadly looking weapon leveled at his chest froze his feet in place, and made his voice catch in his throat. The huge men began backing out of the cell.

"Radek!" McKay shouted when he found his voice again, but by then his colleague was already out of his line of sight and the guards had retreated out of the cell and the door had closed behind them. Rodney rushed up to the bars and pressed his face against the cold metal trying to see his friend. "Zelenka!" The only response he heard was the quiet swish of a door closing.

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End Notes: Wahahaha, am I evil? I try. Sometimes I try too hard and end up as an evil clown, though... but that's a whole other story. Anyhoo, make me happy, review! The happier I am, the more I write...


	3. Chapter 3

AN: Yay, you make the Author happy, feeding the Request Monster! This is a fairly short chapter. No graphic whumpage, but still some bits I'm quite pleased with, in my evil manner.

Chapter 3

McKay was uncharacteristically quiet for the next two hours. Sheppard was nursing a hell of a headache, but through the haze of dizziness that attacked him every time he tried to move too quickly, he could see the wheels in Rodney's mind spinning double time. The Colonel paced around the perimeter of the cell, searching for weaknesses as best he could.

He could hear Teyla in the cell across the way trying to get as much information about these "Guardians" out of Karina as possible. Unfortunately, the woman didn't seem to know much about them other than they protected the people of her world against the Wraith. No one was sure how they did it, just that the Wraith had not come in a long time.

Sheppard heard the hiss of the door down the hall opening again, and he hushed his companions. Footsteps echoed down the hall towards them again, and once again, the group came to a halt outside their cells. The men's cell door opened again, and in stepped the same four men as last time, supporting a naked and slightly struggling Zelenka. He was bleeding, soaking wet, and shivering. Though the Czech's arms were now unbound, he was still no match for the men at either side of him. His eyes were wide, wild, and fearful, but when he saw his friends, he used what energy he had to try and preserve his modesty, though it was too late for that.

"What the hell did you do to him!" McKay cried, making no attempt to hide the horror on his face. The Canadian was ignored, and Zelenka was dumped unceremoniously on the floor. McKay and Sheppard glared at the men, both wishing that their arms weren't bound. The could hear the cries of outrage from the women across the way.

The gray-haired man turned, and still without a single word, he and his assistant turned and grabbed Sheppard by the arms to haul him away. The Colonel tried to fight them, but their grip was vice-like, and he could practically feel his arms bruising under their fingers. He twisted to face McKay as best he could before he was whisked out the door.

"Figure a way out of here!" the Colonel shouted, and McKay knew it was an order. He stood by helplessly as the guards backed out of the cell and the door slammed shut yet again. McKay's eyes darted nervously back and forth, as if searching for the answer floating in the air.

"Okay, first things first," he said, more to himself than anyone else. He stepped over to Radek, curled up on the cold metal floor to try and ascertain the other man's condition. Rodney could see numerous cuts tracing their way along Zelenka's skin. Thankfully, they didn't look deep, but the other scientist was obviously still in pain, and clearly freezing. McKay knelt down next to the other man, wishing for the umpteenth time that his damn hands weren't useless.

"Zelenka," Rodney said quietly, "Are you all right? Well, that's a stupid question, obviously you're not all right. But, what I mean is, uh--" Rodney trailed off as he watched his friend shiver. He wasn't sure if Radek was in shock or just lost in his own little world, but he wasn't responding at all to Rodney's words. McKay's stomach twisted, but now was not the time for pussyfooting around. He had to switch tactics.

"Ok Radek, enough of this," Rodney said, snapping his voice back to his usual caustic, sarcastic tone. "Your hands are free, now make yourself useful and see if you can get these restraints off of me!" McKay was pleased to see that his change in tone had the desired effect, as Zelenka pulled his head up off the floor and squinted at Rodney. McKay only just noticed that Radek's glasses were missing. Rodney's gut twisted slightly at the haunted look on Zelenka's face. Now that he had Radek's attention, Rodney's tone softened slightly.

"Look," McKay said, "I can give you my jacket, but only if you can get these damn restraints off of me." Zelenka still didn't say a word, but slowly he sat up, glancing nervously across the hall to where the women were. Teyla and Karina had been watching the men with concern in their eyes, but when they saw Radek glance at them, they both got the hint and immediately turned away. Rodney, for his part, scooted over and plopped himself down directly between Zelenka and the door of the cell. He then bent forward at the waist as much as he could and lifted his arms so the restraints were as close to Radek's face as possible. For a moment, he felt nothing happen.

"Come on, Radek, this isn't exactly comfortable!" he groused. In a moment, he felt nimble fingers probing the restraints that bound his arms. McKay smiled grimly. "That's more like it!"

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End Notes: I'm bad. But I PROMISE, tomorrow's chapter has MUCH whumpage (we follow Sheppard! Wahahahaaa!). If the Review Monster gets fed, that is!


	4. Chapter 4

AN: SHEP WHUMPAGE! Need I say more? No, but I will! Or, maybe not.

Chapter 4

The past two days had not been the highlight of John Sheppard's venture into the Pegasus galaxy. Yesterday morning, he'd woken up with a splitting headache that none of Beckett's magic pills had even put a dent in. Of course, he'd underplayed how bad it was so that Carson and Elizabeth wouldn't worry. It was only a headache, after all.

When they had arrived on the planet, most of the town's people had been less than helpful. Sheppard was used to that, but it did nothing for his mood. When Karina had finally led them to the cliff face, McKay had poked and prodded at the device for hours, and the sky was growing dangerously dark before he finally agreed to come back the next day with reinforcements.

This morning, things had seemed a bit better. At least his headache had been gone. That was until the fifth hour of not being able to do much more than listen to Zelenka and McKay bicker. Then his headache had returned. Even then, he hadn't realized how moody he was acting until Teyla had pointed out that he was behaving like McKay. Part of him was almost glad for the crisis situation they'd been thrown into, it at least gave him something to focus on...

Of course, most of him was busy telling his stomach to stop flip-flopping as he was pulled from the cell. The shot of adrenaline when they had brought Radek back in, then turned and grabbed him, had eradicated his headache. Unfortunately, it had been replaced with gut-twisting anxiety.

"So, anyone wanna tell me what's going on?" he asked idly as he was shuffled through the previously unseen door at the end of the hall. The men surrounding him remained quiet. "Ok, I get it, you're the strong silent types. I suppose we can work with that. Are we going to visit anyone a little more chatty, maybe? Get this whole situation sorted out?" None of the men so much as looked at him. "Yea, ok, I guess we'll see when we get there, then." They walked briskly through a number of twisting and turning corridors. John did his best to map out their route as they walked, but it wasn't easy. The men were walking so quickly that Sheppard had to jog to keep up half the time.

After a few minutes, they came to a very large doorway, which hissed open as Gray-Hair waved his hand in front of a panel similar to the one set into the cliff face, only much smaller. Sheppard tried to see if there was any trick to it; but if there was, he couldn't make it out.

The guards half-dragged him to the center of what seemed to be a very large, dark, seemingly empty room with a very high ceiling. When they got to the center, John could see what looked like two very long extension cords hanging down from the ceiling to about 6 feet off the ground, about 8 inches apart.

Without warning, Sheppard felt the pressure of the restraints loosen from his left arm. Pressing the perceived advantage, he tried to twist and pivot away, but he only succeeded in pulling his arm free of the restraint. The gorilla of a guard standing next to him still held him firmly at his bicep. One of the other giants stepped up and took his right arm from Gray-Hair, wrenched it up over his head, and fastened the side of the restraint to one of the dangling cords. His left arm was then pulled back into it's restraint, and that side similarly secured. The cords then drew up towards the ceiling until John was stretched to his full height, but stopped short of making him stand on tiptoe.

"Ok, this is interesting," he muttered, still telling his stomach to stop squirming around so much. He tried pulling himself up off the ground slightly, to ease some of the stretch in his midsection. To his dismay, he found that his feet were now secured to the ground. "Very interesting," he said, eyes darting about, trying to figure out what his captors were planning. Finally, Gray-Hair spoke.

"Why have your people come here?" he asked, glaring at Sheppard. John kept his voice calm and neutral.

"We're explorers," the Colonel responded. "Why have you taken us prisoner?"

"You trespassed," replied Gray-Hair.

"Well, there were no signs posted, you know," Sheppard said nonchalantly. "You really ought to mark out your territory better if you want to be so touchy about people trespassing." Gray-Hair narrowed his eyes.

"Who are you?" he demanded.

"Lieutenant Colonel John Sheppard. Who are you?" Sheppard said. Gray-Hair stood up straighter, looking rather offended.

"I am Soren!" he said, as though it should have been obvious. John just took it in stride.

"Well it's nice to meet you Soren," Sheppard said, putting on one of his most winning smiles. "Now that we've been introduced, how about you let me down from here?" Soren ignored him completely.

"The woman is not of your people?" he asked. John sighed. Well, it had been worth a shot, anyway.

"Who, Karina?" Sheppard asked. "No, she's from--"

"Not the village girl," Soren snapped. "The other woman. She is not of your people, correct?" Sheppard paused to weigh his answer carefully. He didn't know why this guy was interested in Teyla, but he sure as hell didn't like it.

"She is a member of my team," Sheppard finally replied. Soren shook his head.

"Your people have always been difficult."

"Yea, about that, you keep talking about 'my people,' and I'm not really clear on what you mean by that," Sheppard said. Soren only nodded to one of the guards, who approached John, drawing out a lethal looking knife.

"Hey!" John exclaimed as the guard brought the point of the knife up to Sheppard's neck. The man pulled out the collar of John's shirt and quickly sliced through the fabric, cutting into the Colonel's skin in more than a few places. "Ouch! Is that necessary!" Sheppard yelped. His mind flashed to the image of Zelenka being dragged back to the cell naked and bleeding.

In an instant, all three of the huge men were working together to decimate his clothing. At one point, his feet were freed and one of the men grabbed his legs to remove his boots. Sheppard tried to kick at him, but only succeeded in spinning around once, twisting the cords that secured him to the ceiling.

The men untwisted him, then secured his feet to the floor again, fully stripped of all his clothes. This left Sheppard feeling far more exposed than he'd ever wanted to be. A band of pressure wound it's way around his chest, and he did his best to steady his breathing. He was not going to let himself panic.

Sheppard looked up and saw Soren walking towards him holding a large bucket. The gray haired man handed the bucket off to one of the taller men, who proceeded to pour it's contents over John's head.

"Oh, come on!" John cried as a noxious smelling oil coated his hair and slid down his neck and chest. The gorilla pouring the stuff made sure that some coated both Sheppard's arms as well. Within a minute, Sheppard was covered from head to toe in the sticky stuff, and rapidly becoming nauseous from the stench.

"Well this is disgusting," Sheppard mumbled, and immediately regretted it as some of the oil seeped past his lips and touched his tongue. The viscous stuff tasted even worse than it smelled, and he felt his stomach heave.

"Now then, if you will start sharing some straight answers, this will go much more smoothly." Soren said. "Is the woman of your people? An honest answer might well save her from facing this situation." As John replied, he did his best attempt at ventriloquism, trying to keep his lips from moving.

"I already told you, she's a member of my team," John said, sticking with his previous answer. "And that is an honest answer!" he added, doubting it would make a difference. He braced himself for what he figured was coming. He wasn't disappointed.

His body arched and he reflexively drew in a deep breath as every nerve ending on his skin caught fire. He closed his eyes and clenched his jaw, refusing to give them the satisfaction of hearing him cry out. When the fire cooled to mere embers, John opened his eyes and found himself staring right at Soren.

"For the last time, is the woman one of your people? You, who call yourselves Ancients?" Soren practically spit the last word out, and John was so honestly surprised by the question that he remained silent for a bit too long for Soren's liking. The fire enveloped his senses again, and this time, a small, strangled cry broke from his throat before he was able to stifle it.

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End Notes: Good? Bad? Evil? Crap? Does nekkid Shep make up for nekkid Zelenka? Let me know!

(Oh, and my own comment... when they pored the gunk over his head, I kept yelling "Not the hair, not the hair!" Of course, then I realized that I was writing it and was therefore responsible for it... but I'll blame Soren.)


	5. Chapter 5

AN: Sorry, no continuation of whumpage into this chapter. There will be a bit more in later chapters... but I give you nekkid Shep! (This story is taking on a bit more plot than I had originally thought; not that that's saying much...)

Chapter 5

It had only taken twenty minutes for McKay to grow uncomfortable and Zelenka to grumble in frustration with the lack of progress on the restraints. McKay was relieved, though, to hear Zelenka grousing in czech. It was far better than the silence which had seemed to overtake the doctor when he had returned from... wherever they had taken him. Still, Rodney was scared and frustrated, and almost for the sake of normalcy, he took it out on Radek.

"Would you hurry it up back there? My shoulders are cramping," McKay snapped. He was relieved to hear Radek respond in kind.

"I would love to," Zelenka said. His tone was as waspish as Rodney's, but still held a distinct quaver. The Czech tried to steady his voice, but it didn't work too well. "Unfortunately, I have no tools, no equipment, no way of telling if what I'm doing is making any difference whatsoever!"

"Well then what good is this!" Rodney retorted, sitting up straight, rolling his eyes, his mind searching for the next brilliant idea.

"But..." Radek said quietly, but trailed off. Even though he hadn't been able to tell if he was making any progress, he wasn't sure he wanted to give up. He really wanted Rodney's jacket.

With a fair amount of effort, Rodney dragged himself to his feet and began retracing Sheppard's earlier steps around the cell. His keen eyes probed the walls and door for weaknesses. Radek wanted to help look for a way out, but he couldn't bring himself to stand up. Without an immediate distraction, his mind started churning through the memories of the previous hours. A soft voice broke through his horrible internal replay.

"Dr. Zelenka," Teyla said, sitting with her back to the bars of her cell, head turned just to the side so that her voice would carry across the hall without her directly looking into the other cell. "I hope you know that you have nothing to be embarrassed or ashamed of."

"So you say," Radek snorted quietly, and curled into himself a bit more, the echoes of his own screams still ringing in his ears. Teyla was not put off. She knew the more information they had, the better off they were. Also, the more occupied her mind was, the less likely she was to dwell on Colonel Sheppard's situation.

"Did they ask you any questions?" she pressed as gently as she could. Zelenka paused for a moment before responding.

"They asked why we were looking at the panel," he said quietly.

"And what did you say?" Teyla asked. Radek took a deep breath.

"I told them we were scientists... and... and that we were looking for ways to defend ourselves against the Wraith," the small man stammered. He was terrified that he had said or done something wrong, to make this situation even worse than it already was. He berated himself, wishing he had said nothing at all, kept strong and silent. But the burning sensation that still clung to his skin, threatened to make him cry out every time he moved was a stark reminder that he was not that strong. He found himself holding his breath as he waited for any kind of a response from Teyla; she would tell him honestly if he had made a mistake.

"That is good, doctor," the woman said softly. "A wise response." Zelenka slowly exhaled, feeling himself shiver against the cold of the cell. "Did they ask anything else?" Radek took another breath, then glanced up to find Rodney, Teyla, and Karina all looking right at him. He felt himself flush, but forced himself to keep his voice as steady and even as he could.

"Yes," he said, and began to go through the events of the previous hours. It took him a while to get it all out, and he left out most of the... details... that he couldn't bring himself to speak about. Rodney and Teyla were grateful for that, anyway, because neither wanted to think about what might be happening to Colonel Sheppard. By the time he'd finished filling them in, more than an hour and a half had passed.

Teyla was impressed. Though Dr. Zelenka would not say specifically what they had done to him, it was clear he had suffered greatly. In spite of that, as he recounted the conversation that had taken place, she was pleased and proud of the scientist. He had said nothing to their captors about Atlantis. Though they had asked about the technology the scientists had been using, the doctor, when pressed to answer, had replied as carefully as anyone could.

"You handled the situation admirably, doctor," Teyla told him, smiling softly. Zelenka nodded curtly, but the corners of his mouth twitched upwards for a moment. Though still embarrassed by his lack of clothes, he didn't feel quite so ashamed anymore. Though his skin still burned, a heavy burden had been lifted from him, and he felt himself breathing much more easily than he had before.

The sounds of people coming down the corridor immediately grabbed the group's attention. In a moment, the now familiar sight of the group of men outside the door blocked the line of sight between the two cells. The door slid open at Soren's command, and a very disoriented Colonel Sheppard was tossed into the cell.

Like Zelenka, he was bleeding, soaked to the bone, sans clothing and restraints. McKay was about to yell at the men, when a realization dawned on him. He wondered why he hadn't though of it before. It was so painfully obvious that he was next. As the same two men swept towards him, he tried to scramble backwards, but too late.

"Oh crap," was all he managed to squeak out as he was dragged from the cell. He heard his friends calling after him, and he hoped this wouldn't be the last time he heard their voices.

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End Notes: I do hope yer all enjoying this lil monster. I'm enjoying writing it!


	6. Chapter 6

AN: I've been rolling right along, but because I've been doing most of my writing at work (BAD Sarah!), I dunno if I'm gonna have another chapter up this weekend or not. I guess it depends on how motivated I get!

EDIT! I've revised this chapter a little bit, cuz of a canon mistake I made that REFUSED to stop bugging me. Nothing big, just a pet peeve of mine...

Chapter 6

"Colonel Sheppard, are you all right?" Teyla asked once Rodney had been dragged out of sight. The colonel groaned and shivered slightly.

"I've been better" he replied, trying to sit himself up. "Damn this floor is cold!" he said. Zelenka snorted and muttered something in czech.

"What... happened?" Teyla asked. She knew how odd the question sounded, but she believed that the colonel would understand why she inquired.

"I'd call that just about the strangest interrogation I've ever had the displeasure of participating in," Sheppard grumbled. Zelenka and Karina listened quietly as the colonel continued. "The smaller guy, Soren, thinks that WE are Ancients!" he announced, indicating himself, Zelenka, and pointing down the hall where Rodney had disappeared. Teyla raised her eyebrows in surprise.

"I assume you informed him otherwise?" she asked.

"Yea. Well, I tried, anyway. It didn't do any good," Sheppard said with a sigh. "Apparently when they beamed us in, it sensed the ATA gene. Unfortunately, it can't seem to distinguish between 'full blown Ancient' and 'remnant gene' or 'gene therapy.' Which, I must say, is really inconvenient."

"Indeed," Teyla murmured. She was relieved to see that the colonel did not seem to be much worse for the wear; psychologically, anyway. She was thankful for his military training.

"The only good news," Sheppard continued, "Is that since neither of you ladies has the gene, you're considered useless." Teyla narrowed her eyes at him, and even Karina looked a bit insulted. "Hey, his words, not mine!" Sheppard cried. "In fact, I'd say you should be lucky that nothing showed up as... out of the ordinary on your scan, Teyla." The Athosian simply nodded silently. Zelenka, however, could not remain silent.

"But I do not even have the gene artificially!" the scientist cried. Sheppard shrugged.

"I don't know, Radek," the colonel sighed, "I don't get it either. Nothing about this situation makes any sense." Karina's brow had wrinkled, and she looked at Sheppard.

"Wait a moment," she said, "Did you say The Guardians believed you to be 'Ancients'? As in a race of people?"

"Yea. They're a really old race with a lot of really cool technology," Sheppard explained. Zelenka winced.

"It's not quite THAT simple, Colonel," the scientist muttered. Sheppard silenced his complaints with a glance.

"I know that," he said, "But it's the short, easy to understand version."

"So," Karina said slowly, "When you spoke of 'Ancient technology,' you were not simply speaking of OLD technology."

"No," Teyla said. "Why?" Karina suddenly became very interested in the floor.

"I didn't remember until you just said that the Ancients were a people," Karina said, still not meeting anyone's eyes.

"Remember what?" Sheppard asked.

"A story that is told to children, about how our people came to this world," Karina said. "It says that many, many generations ago, there was a great war between the Wraith and a people called the Ancients. The Guardians were asked to take the side of the Ancients, but refused to. They wanted no part in the conflict. So they came to this world and brought our ancestors here, to protect us."

"Ok, but if they wanted to avoid the Ancients, why did they come to a world with a Stargate?" Sheppard asked.

"It wasn't here when they arrived," Karina said. "The story tells that the Ancients put the gateway here and tried to ask the Guardians again and again for aid in their war against the Wraith. The Guardians became angry, and said that no Wraith or Ancient should ever come to this world again, or they would be destroyed." As the young woman finished, she flushed. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you this sooner, but I didn't think of it! It's a children's story..." she trailed off.

"It's ok," Sheppard said. "You couldn't have known this would happen. Hell, even if you'd told us, it wouldn't have stopped us from checking this out." Karina still wouldn't look up. She liked these people, and now she felt as though this whole situation was her fault. If she hadn't brought them to the cliff...

"Karina," Teyla said softly. Slowly, the younger woman looked at the Athosian. "This is not your fault. No one is mad at you."

"Not at all," Sheppard said. "In fact, now this all makes a lot more sense. The more we understand, the better our chances of getting out of here faster. Speaking of which," he turned and looked at Zelenka. "Radek, do you think you can get that door open?" Zelenka looked up sharply at Sheppard, then at the door, then down at himself. He opened his mouth, then closed it, then opened it again.

"Eh, well," the Czech stammered.

"Dr. McKay examined the door earlier and saw no weaknesses," Teyla said. Zelenka nodded fervently.

"And when I tried to get the restraints off of him, it was useless," he added. "I have no way of telling if anything I do is making any difference with this technology."

"And you're not even going to try?" Sheppard asked. Zelenka flushed bright red. "I'm sure the ladies will turn their backs, Radek!"

"I do not see you examining the cell for weaknesses, Colonel," Teyla said smoothly, half a smile on her face. Sheppard paused only a moment.

"I'm not the scientist," he said.

"But don't you have experience with this... kind of thing?" Karina asked, nodding towards the door of their own cell. Sheppard huffed, but remained sitting. He was used to nudity. Hell, he was in the military, he had been forced to strip down for more exams than he'd known existed. Between that and a number of the guys in one of his outfits having regular Naked Time celebrations, it hardly phased him anymore. But this situation made it different. He was in hostile territory, exposed, vulnerable. If the opportunity presented itself, he knew that he'd be up and fighting in a heartbeat, no matter what he was or was not wearing. However, at the moment, there was nobody to fight.

The group sat in silence for a while, each lost in their own thoughts. Teyla and Karina both investigated the door of their own cell, but found nothing useful. Time dragged past, and they began to grow concerned.

"Is it just me," Sheppard asked, "Or does this seem to be longer-"

"Than you and Dr. Zelenka were gone for?" Teyla finished. "Yes." Karina nodded.

"Why do you think they're keeping Dr. McKay longer?" the young woman asked.

"I have no idea," Sheppard muttered. "I just hope he didn't piss them off and get himself killed..."

"Colonel!" Zelenka cried, but they had all heard it. They looked down the hall, waiting to see Rodney coming back, hopefully in one piece. As one, though, their stomachs dropped as the men came into view and there was no sign of Rodney with them. Soren glanced around at them briefly.

"Take them," he commanded.

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End notes: Ok, the deal with Zelenka's lack of ATA gene pissed me off to the point where I HAD to fix that bit, at least sorta. Thanks to all those who let me know of my boo-boo.

But, erm, my brain is stalling, so I'm not sure if I'll be updating tomorrow or not. I'm doin me damnedest.


	7. Chapter 7

AN: My apologies for the delay, my hard drive kinda... died. Fortunately, my fiancee is a computer geek, and happened to have a spare 120 gig hd laying around, so now all my stuff is safely transferred and info is saved. Thus, y'all get more story! To that end...

More whumping! Ok, not a LOT, but still, more! Anyhoo, I have to say that I truly hate if I write something that contradicts canon, but what's done is done. (Wish I had seen Hot Zone more recently, though). T'is one of the dangers of not having a Beta. Anyhoo, I hope ye enjoy, and if I dun update tomorrow, I WILL update on Wednesday. Only one or two more chapters after this one!

Chapter 7

Colonel Sheppard was on his feet and in a defensive posture in a second. He was ready to fight them when they came in. However, when Soren turned, it was to open the cell with Teyla and Karina in it, and Sheppard's stomach twisted. The women backed away as Soren and one of his men entered their cell. Teyla tried to kick at the man approaching her, but he deflected the strike, spun her around and knocked her off balance. He then grabbed her by the arm, half lifting her from the ground. She kicked at him, but it was useless. The blows didn't phase him in the slightest. Soren grabbed Karina in the same way. The blonde flailed wildly, but her efforts were wasted.

"Leave them alone!" Sheppard shouted, wishing the door of his cell was open. Even Zelenka had jumped to his feet in outrage at the treatment of the women. But his rage was quickly replaced by fear as the other two guards turned and entered the men's cell.

Sheppard took quick stock of the situation as his wish was granted. He saw that the men's weapons were still holstered, and he smirked. There was no way he was going to stand by and let the bastards take the women, so in a heartbeat, he made his choice and lunged towards the nearest guard, aiming to disarm him. The huge man was prepared, though, and spun away from the attack, striking John across his back.

Sheppard bit back a cry as the fire flared back up across his skin where the guard had hit him. Out the corner of his eye, he saw the other guard backhand Zelenka as the smaller man tried to back away. His attention was immediately drawn back to his own assailant, though, as the behemoth drew back to hit him again. He managed to duck the next blow, but the huge man moved with surprising speed and managed to plant his knee into Sheppard's gut. John stumbled and crashed into the

back wall, and where his skin hit the metal, pain blossomed. He struggled to get his breath and clear his head. The guard stood over him, and with a wicked grin, he gripped Sheppard's arm. Pain exploded where the giant's fingers dug into his flesh. It was dizzying.

Meanwhile, Zelenka couldn't stop himself from crying out as he was similarly manhandled and dragged out of the cell. The pain was almost as bad as it had been when they were interrogating him, but now it was localized only where anything came in contact with his skin.

The four companions were hauled down the hallway and through another series of twisting passages. Sheppard tried to focus on their path, but the pain in his arm was radiating outwards to his fingers and his chest. The only thing he could tell was that this did not seem to be the same way he'd been taken before.

They walked, or were dragged, for a few minutes before they came to what looked like another cell, only a bit larger than the ones they had been in before. They could see a crumpled form on the floor.

"McKay!" Sheppard shouted, but the man on the floor remained motionless. The cell door slid open, and the men were both thrown in. Zelenka collapsed and curled up on the floor, gasping in pain. Sheppard remained standing, but only just barely. He was doing his best to not move his right arm.

Soren grabbed the restraints that bound Karina, and in a moment, the young woman's arms were freed. She too, was tossed into the cell. Then Teyla's restraints were removed, and finally she joined her companions. The door slid shut, and the group remained silent for a moment, unsure of what had just happened. Teyla was the first to move, turning to check on Rodney.

"Dr. McKay?" she asked, kneeling behind her friend who was lying on his side. She looked up at the others, shucking her jacket as she spoke. "He is unconscious," she said, using her jacket to dry the drenched man off as best she could. Rodney groaned at the contact.

"Teyla, stop," Sheppard told her. The pain was fading quickly now, and his breathing had evened out. He could see that Rodney was in the same kind of hyper-sensitized state that he and Zelenka were in. He knelt down opposite Teyla.

"But Colonel," Teyla started to protest.

"It's hurting him," Sheppard told her. Teyla immediately stopped drying Rodney off, and left her jacket draped over his waist. While Sheppard and Teyla tended to McKay, Karina knelt to check on Dr. Zelenka. The small man was just sitting up, and when he saw the young woman in front of him, he immediately flushed again. Karina quickly tugged at the neck of her shirt, pulling it over her head to reveal a kind of tank top beneath. She handed the shirt to Zelenka, who took it with a grateful smile.

"Hey!" Sheppard said when he noticed he was the only one left with nothing to preserve his modesty. Teyla raised her eyebrow.

"Would you like my shirt, Colonel?" she asked, smirking. Sheppard groaned as he saw that Teyla's shirt wouldn't help him very much, and since her undergarments weren't as modest as Karina's, she would be almost as bad off as he was.

"No," he grumbled reluctantly. He looked back at McKay, who was slowly waking up. The Canadian groaned.

"Who turned the heat down?" he grumbled, grabbing Teyla's jacket and pulling it up as if to cover himself better with a blanket.

"Ah, come on Rodney, I didn't need that!" Sheppard groused, averting his eyes. McKay's eyes fluttered open.

"What?" the scientist asked, still getting his bearings. Noticing his current state of undress, McKay yelped and immediately covered himself with Teyla's jacket. "Well! Uhm... Good to see you all! It's cold in here, isn't it? Very, very cold..." Rodney stammered.

"Yea, well the shower they used to wash that oily crap off had no hot water when I got run through it," Sheppard said. Rodney shuddered as the memories came flooding back to him.

"Yea, I don't like that stuff much," McKay said grimly. "Very... unappetizing."

"And I thought that nothing could ruin your appetite," Sheppard said, keeping a straight face.

"Oh, ha ha," McKay shot back.

"Well now that you two geniuses are back together, have the use of your hands, and are covered... sorta... how about figuring a way out of here?" Sheppard said, looking between McKay and Zelenka. No sooner were the words out of hs mouth than a deep rumble rolled over them, shaking the walls of their cell and causing the lights to flicker.

XXXXXXXXXXXX

End Notes: Uhm... actually, I got nuttin to say. Reviews? Is it sucking yet?


	8. Chapter 8

AN: I was worried I wasn't going to be able to update today, but my muse has been kind! Huzzah! Anyhoo, yea, I'm just paranoid about my writing sucking, t'is a character flaw. Dun mind the crazy author. I hope y'all continue to enjoy! Next chapter should be last, and should up by the end of the week, hopefully sooner, if my muse continues to be kind!

Chapter 8

"What was that?" Karina asked, a quaver in her voice.

"I don't know," Sheppard said, looking around, "But whatever it is, let's see if we can use it to our advantage." McKay and Zelenka, with borrowed clothing secured around their waists, began to investigate their surroundings more closely, while Sheppard moved to try his luck at bullying the door open.

"Will that do any good?" Karina asked as the colonel pulled at the bars.

"I don't know," he said, "But if the power has been interrupted, and these doors are secured with electronic locking mechanisms, it's sure as hell worth a shot." Another rumble shook them, this time threatening to knock them to the floor. As Sheppard held onto the bars for support, he felt the door slip just slightly. Teyla noticed, and immediately darted over to grab a bar and start pulling.

"Some help would be nice!" Sheppard grunted, and the others rushed over. With five people pulling, the door slowly slid open an inch at a time. When they had managed to create a gap about a foot wide, Sheppard turned to them. "Ok, everyone out!" he ordered. Teyla nodded and slid out the opening, followed quickly by Zelenka and Karina.

"Are you sure that's big enough?" McKay asked, nervously eyeing the gap.

"McKay!" Sheppard growled, "Out!"

"Right!" Rodney said, squeezing through the opening. Sheppard was the last one out, holding his breath, careful not to touch anything in case it caused the pain to flare up again. The only spots on his body that didn't tingle at the moment were the palms of his hands and the soles of his feet, probably because that oily stuff hadn't gotten to those places.

"Ok, now we're out, where do we go?" McKay asked. Sheppard paused and glanced around.

"This way," he said, starting down the corridor they had been brought down. The group moved quickly, but it rapidly became apparent that none of them had any idea where they were going.

"This place is a labyrinth!" Zelenka muttered. Suddenly, Sheppard held his fist up, signaling the group to stop. The colonel led them in ducking into a side corridor, and in a moment, the rest of the group heard the sound of running feet. They held their breath collectively as the steps grew closer, and Sheppard readied himself for another fight, if it became necessary. He desperately hoped it wouldn't come to that, though, since he wasn't sure how much he could take if the pain flared back up.

When a huge form passed the opening to the corridor they were hiding in, though, a sigh of relief escaped Sheppard's lungs. There was no mistaking the wild hair and brown trench coat.

"Ronon!" Sheppard said, stepping towards his teammate.

"Sheppard!" Ronon said, then froze in his tracks. For a second, Sheppard had forgotten that he was quite out of uniform.

"Coat!" Sheppard grumbled, and in a second, Ronon had handed the garment over, which Sheppard quickly donned, fastening it. The colonel ignored the sharp stinging in his shoulders at the touch of the fabric.

"What's going on?" the now covered colonel demanded.

"Rescue mission," Ronon grunted. He touched the radio at his ear. "I've got them!" he said, and a voice crackled back over in response.

_"Good, now get back up a few levels so we can get a lock on you,"_ it said.

"Is that--" Sheppard started, but Ronon cut him off.

"Caldwell," the Runner said, already heading back up the corridor he had come down. The others quickly followed him, and within moments, they were all jogging. "The _Daedalus_ is ready to beam us up as soon as we're close enough to the surface." McKay's stride faltered, causing Karina and Zelenka to bump into him and nearly send them all crashing to the ground. As it was, both of the men winced as pain blossomed where they had impacted.

"What do you mean?" McKay asked. "How far underground are we?" Ronon didn't stop moving.

"I don't know, far enough that the _Daedalus_ can't get a lock on us until we get up a few more levels," he replied. "Now, do you want to continue this conversation here, or wait until we're back on the ship?"

"Point taken!" McKay squeaked and immediately picked his pace back up. Sheppard wondered where Soren and his goons were, but for the moment, he was more focused on getting his group out. The six of them raced along the corridors, and sure enough, they noticed a distinct upgrade. After a nearly ten-minute frantic dash, they reached an open room and Ronon slowed. He touched his earpiece again

"Can you get us from here?" the runner asked, and tinny affirmative came back. In a moment, the strange sensation of the transport beam had washed over the group, and none were sad to see their surroundings disappear. As the world reformed around them, they were greeted by a deep voice.

"Good to see you in one piece, Colonel," Colonel Caldwell said, straight faced. "Needless to say, when Ronon reported what had happened, we got here as quick as we could."

"Wouldn't it have been faster to send a puddle jumper through the gate?" Rodney demanded, painfully aware that the only thing between him and the crew of the Daedalus was Teyla's jacket. He pulled the material tighter around himself, and winced when his skin burned in protest.

"We did," said Ronon, "That's how we knew you were under that cliff face, and how we knew that there was no way in or out except by transport beam."

"Oh," was all McKay could manage in response.

"We made contact with a man who called himself Soren," Caldwell informed them. "He was under the impression that you were Ancients and that you had broken some kind of treaty."

"Yea, so we heard," Sheppard said. "I tried to explain to him that he was mistaken, but he wasn't big on listening to reason." Caldwell nodded

"We tried to explain it also, but the man got... agitated," the older colonel said. "We decided that if we were going to get you out, we'd need to do it ourselves. After a few blasts--"

"You SHOT at the complex we were trapped in?" McKay cried. The colonel continued where he'd left off.

"To knock out the shielding, we were able to beam a small strike force into the complex. While the Marines dealt with Soren and his men, Ronon took off to search for all of you." Sheppard took a quick look around, and indeed there were five Marines standing off to one side, doing their best not to laugh. "There were only about a dozen life signs in the whole complex, not including your group."

"We only encountered five of them," one of the marines chimed in.

"Let me guess, four huge men and Soren," Sheppard said. The marine nodded.

"Yes, sir. They were tough, but a few stunner blasts and a couple of bullets had them all down for the count." Karina gasped.

"Did you... You didn't... kill them, did you?" she asked. Sheppard turned and raised his eyebrows at the young woman. Karina flushed. "They did horrible things, but they still protect my people from the Wraith. If they are dead..." she trailed off.

"Last we saw, they were all still breathing," the marine told her. The young woman sighed and nodded slightly.

"Look, it's not that we don't appreciate the help," Sheppard said, "But for once, I'm a little eager to go see the good Dr. Beckett, and the gate will get us back home much faster." He shrugged his shoulders uncomfortably, and immediately wished that he hadn't, as it only made the stinging worse.

"Understood," Caldwell replied.

"Hey wait!" McKay snapped, "Can't we at least get some clothes?" Sheppard looked back at him. 

"Clothes will hurt your skin," he said. "Trust me."

"Easy for you to say, Mr-I've-got-a-trench-coat! I don't see you taking off that oh-so-painful garment! I'll gladly trade with you!" McKay retorted. Sheppard just raised an eyebrow. "Fine, fine," McKay groused. "At least get Zelenka and I something a BIT larger to cover up with, hm?" No one said anything, but a few snickers were still heard as a crew member rushed up holding two emergency blankets. The scientists quickly and gladly wrapped themselves in the fabric, leaving their previous coverings laying on the floor. Neither Teyla nor Karina moved to reclaim their clothes.

"Now that we've gotten that taken care of," Caldwell said, "Shall we send you down to the gate?" Sheppard nodded, and as Caldwell's face swirled out of his vision, he would have sworn that he saw the man smirking.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

End Notes: Ok, I will stand by this: I suck at escape plans. Deus ex Machina is a way of life for me. Also, I dunno how long they were initially unconscious, so I say there was enough time for Ronon to get the Daedalus there! I am the almighty Author! Ack, power trip, bad Sarah. Anyhoo, last chapter coming, just some wrap up, ya know, fun stuff! I do hope you've all been enjoying my insane little trip!


	9. Chapter 9

AN: I think this is the fastest I have EVER completed a fic. For better of for worse, this is the last chapter of this lil baby. I have thoroughly enjoyed writing it, and I sincerely hope you've all enjoyed reading it. Dunno if it was quite up to par; but considering how rusty I am at this whole fanfic thing, I'm still pleased with it. So now, without further ado...

Chapter 9

To the relief of everyone, especially Sheppard, McKay, and Zelenka, the group found themselves right in front of the DHD. McKay immediately began dialing. Sheppard turned to Karina.

"Sorry you got dragged into all of this," he said. The young woman looked uncertain, then shook her head.

"This is all my fault. The Guardians are going to be furious, and might well take it out on my people if I remain."

"What if you came back with us?" Teyla asked. "My people have created quite a home for themselves on the mainland, and you would be welcomed among them." Karina opened her mouth, but said nothing. She was completely overwhelmed by the situation. She was never good at making quick decisions. In front of them, the wormhole whooshed into existence, and Ronon sent his IDC.

"How do you know that the guardians will not turn their backs on your people even if you leave?" Zelenka asked. He hated to make the young woman feel even worse, but he felt it was a point that needed to be made.

"Because it is said that in the past, if anyone has dared to challenge the power of the Guardians, as punishment they would be banished," Karina said solemnly. "I always thought the stories were just myths, more tales to frighten children so they would behave." The young woman sighed. "I never realized how true a myth could be."

"Yea, I know what ya mean," Sheppard said, smiling at the girl. "My people found that out the hard way, too."

"Speak for yourself," McKay quipped. "Now then, Colonel, is the young lady coming with us, or not, because I want to go home sooner rather than later." Sheppard weighed the options for a moment, then nodded.

"If she wants to come, she can," he said. "The Athosians are a great group, and I'm sure they'd make you feel right at home," he told Karina. "But we're not sticking around, so there'll be no time for you to say any good-bye's."

"I have no one to say good-bye to," the young woman murmured. "I will go with you."

"Good! Now that that's settled, shall we?" McKay said, nodding towards the gate. The group approached the event horizon. Ronon and McKay went through first, followed by Teyla. Zelenka and Karina both paused, unsure for a moment, though for completely different reasons. The presence of Colonel Sheppard behind them, though, coaxed both of them through the gate. Sheppard followed them through without a backwards glance.

As they found themselves in the gateroom, Dr. Beckett was already there waiting for them with gurneys, Dr. Weir by his side. McKay was already eyeing the rolling beds with trepidation. Karina simply looked around in wonder as the wormhole closed behind them.

"It's good to have you all back," Weir said, smiling warmly at the disheveled group.

"Aye, now let's get you checked out," Carson said.

"And you can introduce me to our new friend here," Elizabeth added, nodding towards Karina.

"Come on, to the infirmary!" Beckett said, pointing the team members to the gurneys.

"I think I'll walk," Sheppard said, having the same thought as McKay. Zelenka nodded in agreement. If the blanket he clutched around his shoulders was irritating his skin to the point of pain, then he certainly didn't want to be rolled and bumped along on the gurney, no matter how smooth the floors of Atlantis might be.

"None of that," Beckett said, "I have no idea what ye have been through, and the last thing I need is any of you collapsing on the way to the infirmary!"

"Trust me, doc," Sheppard said, "We'll be a lot less likely to pass out if we're walking."

"You're a doctor, I thought you were supposed to help you patients AVOID excruciating pain," McKay snapped. Beckett looked slightly abashed.

"What do ye mean by that?" the doctor asked.

"Um, can we continue this conversation elsewhere?" Zelenka chimed in. As much as he was now dreading the walk through Atlantis to the infirmary, it would be far better than standing around in the gateroom.

"Yes, let's," Weir said, tugging on Carson's sleeve and leading the way out of the gateroom. Within minutes, the group had wound its way to the infirmary. Rodney hardly hesitated a moment before snatching a pair of scrub pants and darting behind a curtain.

"Would someone mind please tellin me what's goin on?" Beckett demanded as McKay's yelps and occasional howls of pain came from behind the curtain. Moments later, the scientist emerged, walking stiffly, still bare chested, but with a triumphant smile on his face.

"There, not so bad," he gasped. "If you don't move too much, the skin gets acclimated to the contact..." That was all it took. Both Radek and John immediately grabbed up a pair of pants and each found a curtain to duck behind. Carson sighed and shook his head.

"All right," he said to McKay. "Now that yer decent, how about hoppin up on the bed so I can take a look at you?" McKay hesitated, but Beckett's glare grew hard. "Now!" McKay backed up to a bed and slowly climbed up onto it. He sat with his legs hanging over the edge, his palms flat out behind him for support. Shortly, both Sheppard and Zelenka emerged from their hiding places and took a seat on beds of their own, both sitting like Rodney. After a few moments, their skin acclimated to the touch of fabric and bed, and the sharp pain dulled to nearly nothing.

"It is like a sunburn," Zelenka muttered.

"Like the worst sunburn ever heard of magnified times one hundred!" McKay groused.

"All right!" Carson snapped turning his gaze on each man in turn. The three women just sat by quietly, watching the doctor in amusement. "Enough chattering amongst yerselves. I'm the doctor, now tell me what happened, or I'll just bloody well let ye suffer!" McKay froze, mouth open in mid-complaint. Silence hung in the air, but only for a moment.

"They poured oil on us," Zelenka said.

"Nasty, viscous, putrid, sticky, DISGUSTING oil!" McKay added.

"Head to toe," Sheppard said. "As Soren questioned us, it was as if he could... activate it, I guess. Felt like my damn skin was on fire every time I didn't answer a question to his liking. And since he thought we were Ancients, MOST of my responses were not to his liking," he added under his breath.

"When they were done, they washed the stuff off," Zelenka said. "But still, even with the oil gone, my skin still feels as though it burns, but only when someone or something touches it."

"But, if we hold still, the pain fades. If we move, wherever something moves against our skin again, the pain flares up," McKay groused. Carson only nodded, processing all the information he was being given.

"All right, then. I'll need to run some tests, but from what yer tellin me, it sounds like a chemical that reacted with the outer layer of yer skin," Beckett told the men. "Yer sunburn analogy might not be too far off, Radek."

"So what does that mean?" McKay asked.

"It means that, depending on what the tests show, of course, there may be very little I can do for you," Beckett sighed.

"What? Why?" McKay asked, his voice getting just a bit higher.

"If this 'oil' effectively 'burned' yer whole skin surface, the only remedy may be lettin it heal on it's own," the doctor responded. "Like lettin a sunburn peel."

"Can you give us anything for the pain?" Sheppard asked.

"Aye, I can, but I don't know how effective it'll be."

"Wonderful," Sheppard groaned.

"Wait, how long will this take to heal on it's own?" McKay demanded. Carson shrugged.

"I have no way of tellin. Could be a few days, maybe a week or more. Have ye been feeling any ill effects other than the skin sensitivity?" All three men shook their heads no.

"We were rendered unconscious by the initial transport into the Guardian's stronghold," Teyla informed the doctor. Sheppard and McKay both made no attempt to stifle their groans.

"Why did you tell him," Sheppard grumbled under his breath. "Now we're all going to have to--"

"Spend the night for observation," Carson finished. An impish grin settled on his features. "And since yer so cheery about the idea, you get to be the first in line for labwork." McKay smirked at Sheppard. "Don't you get snarky, lad, because yer next!" Zelenka did his best to sit quietly and not incur the wrath of the man in control of pointy objects. Teyla, Karina, and Elizabeth simply smiled at the men. As the group settled in for what promised to be a long night of testing and unofficial debriefing, Radek Zelenka sighed. Right now, all he could think about was how much he wanted a holiday.

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End Notes: Ack, ok, so I cheezed out on the end a bit, but I'm a cheezy kinda girl! For the moment, I am out of fic ideas, but if anyone actually enjoyed my writing enough to want more, feel free to suggest stuff. Send me plot bunnies, they're all cute an furry an stuff!

Short of that, please at least leave a review, even to say that you think I should never write again! (I won't listen, of course, but I value honesty!) Thanks to everyone who's been reviewing all along, you've kept my muse happy!

I've had a hellishly (is that a word?) long week at work (and it's not over yet!). Review! It will keep me alive till the weekend!


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